It's been so long since I've done a blog update. Life has been busy, and that's a good thing. So here it is in a list...in no particular order.

~ I'm learning to breathe more deeply, and to live with more gratitude each day.
~ I'm working to align my priorities with how I live my life. This is not as easy as it sounds, as I get caught up in to-do lists. But I'm trying to let go of the "should do's", and not feel guilty about doing what gives me joy.
~ I think about moving a lot these days, but I'm not sure where. I'd like to downsize and simplify, but would also like a pool, and something more urban. I'll have to play with this idea some more.
~ I've finally started reading for pleasure again (as opposed to research). I've read Secret Daughter, Cutting for Stone, and next up is The Help.
~ My Sister is moving to North Carolina. I felt an intense sense of loss and sadness when she first told me. She has been my go-to person in my journey with the health care system. I always know she's there for me when I need something, or someone. I also feel so sad for Zoe and Zach, who will no longer have cousins in Toronto. Zoe especially has had a very close relationship with Mikaela, which we'll have to continue to nurture. I'm beginning to accept the move, and see the possibilities...opportunities for travel, and maybe some family vacations together...maybe it will make for better quality time and connections.
~ I'm trying to get back into scrapbooking, and documenting our story, photos, and daily life. This can only happen when I choose to do that which gives me joy.
~ Zachary just turned 9! I still think of him as my baby, and remember so clearly the day he was born. He is smart and creative; loves Lego, Star Wars, Star Trek, and has letely become obsessed with Harry Potter. He has almost finished the first book. We have just introduced him to golf, and he seems to like it, and has a nice shot too.
~ Zach and Zoe have both learned to ride their bikes without training wheels. We are looking forward to some family rides together this summer.
~ I'm still on the same chemo I started last August. My tumors have remained stable. My bloodwork has been excellent, so I convinced my doctor to let me see him less often...now every 4 weeks. What a huge deal to not be at the hospital so often.
~ The kids have finished school and we are looking forward to the summer...camp, Niagara wine tour with friends, 2 weeks at a cottage.
~ As much as I try to exercise, for both my mental and physical health, it always seems to cause more pain. Possibly periformis, but I'm not doing much these days, as I try to figure it out. It seems as though I always have one pain or another, although I'm feeling pretty good most of the time.
~ For my Birthday/Mother's Day gift I got an iPad...I'm loving it.

I'm so happy to report that I've just seen my new oncologist today (who I really like, by the way), and my last scans showed that my tumours shrank a bit more. I am so encouraged by this news.

I feel like I've been doing so much research this past year, and still don't have many answers. I'm still trying to put my healing plan in place, and settle into a routine given this new knowledge. I have recently discovered a website that has become my main source of information and inspiration ... Crazysexylife.com. Kris Carr was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer 8 years ago, which took her on a journey to discover how to heal herself through diet and lifestyle changes. She has basically done much of the work for me, and put it all in her new book, Crazy Sexy Diet (which I was reading until 1:30am this morning!!-way past my bedtime!). But she is also very inspiring and motivating, which helps me along. She's awesome...check her out if you have a chance.

I like to attribute at least some of my success to the changes I have made to my diet and my complementary therapies. At least it makes me feel like I have some control over my disease. I still have a lot of work to do to incorporate more yoga, visualization and meditation into my life - how do I find the time?! But I see myself healthy and present for a long time to come!!

Namaste.

It's been so long since I posted! We had a nice holiday, with very little on the agenda. But we went to Blue Mountain for New Years. The kids skiied, and we got to relax a little with friends.

It's hard to believe that 2010 is over. While it has been a rough year, I'm thankful for my family, and the love and support friends have given us. 2011 will be full with busy kids and a focus on health, spirit, finding joy and living in the present.

Best wishes for health and happiness in 2011!

We all had a great halloween this year, even though it was the coldest I can remember.

It seems like it's been a really busy fall. A bit too much for me...I'm trying to find a weekend we can spend at home, just hanging out. I have to schedule it!! But life is pretty good. I feel like things are somewhat returning to normal (my new normal).

The walk was a great success! Thank you to the walkers, donors and well-wishers. It was so great to have all the kids with us this year. I'm thinking of putting together a team to walk next year in the Waterfront Marathon, and raising money for Wellspring (Cancer Support). So think about joining us next year!

This week we got great news. The new drug I'm on is doing it's job. Not only are the tumors not growing, but they continue to shrink - a bonus! So the goal now is to be on this drug for as long as possible...as long as there is no progression. I will continue to have scans every 3 months to monitor things, and will continue with a healthy diet and supplements, as much as possible.

New York was amazing. We went for a family wedding, and enjoyed beautiful weather, time together with family, and a nice getaway. It's been a beautiful fall...but winter seems to be coming quickly! Time is always flying! Enjoy.

XOX

We're gearing up to do the CIBC Run for the Cure this Sunday. Mark and I, Zachary and Zoe will be joined by a bunch of other families from school...thanks guys...you are awesome!! Please feel free to visit the site and make a donation to our cause....every little bit counts.

I have a foot update: feet are feeling waaaaay better lately. I stopped the painkiller because I just don't want to be on it all the time. But I also started taking vitamin B6. It has made an unbelievable difference...I don't know why they didn't suggest it at the hospital. No pain this past round.

My eyelashes are growing back!!! I think that's more exciting than my hair, which is now almost an inch long. But its very grey, so I'm planning to colour it soon...shoppers drug mart colour...hardly seems worth a visit to the salon!!

Also, Happy Birthday Jen...all the way down under! Sorry I didn't call you this morning, and now its the middle of the night for you...but I'm thinking of you!

Kids are back at school! I've had a great week. It was so nice to see all my school friends. I also went to the gym, and for a great bike ride today. A few people have told me this week that I look really good. I guess the effects of chemo are finally beginning to clear out of my system, and my life is returning to a new normal. I still can't believe this is my life...but for today at least, things are good.

Still looking for a nanny...

Shana Tova!

It's the last day of August, and the summer is winding down. I'm looking forward to Friday...we're going to my friends cottage. It's my childhood friend, at the lake where we shared many adventures and growing pains. It wouldn't be a summer without a visit to Sharbot Lake.

I'm on to a new stage of this journey, having started an oral chemo. I had great expectations, as the drug is generally well tolerated. But the doctors never tell you the worst case scenario...and I always seem to meet up with Murphy! My new complaint is redness, heat, swelling and extreme pain in my feet. Hence my visit to the blog...I can't walk today, and I have to complain to someone. My kids don't listen, or don't care, so I'm searching for a little blog therapy!!

I'm also searching for a new nanny. My last one was fabulous at maintaining my house, but she left for a full time job with benefits. Please ask around for me, and if you know of anyone looking, please let me know. Sore feet aren't helping...Mark came home tonight, and for the first time in months, had to do some cleaning up, and make dinner.

School starts next week, and I'll be happy to get back to a routine again. I desperately need some exercise (again-sore feet aren't helping!), and my meditation practice has fallen off the schedule. But at the same time, I feel like our lives are somewhat returning to normal. When I'm having fun with friends I'm able to momentarily forget about our crappy situation, and just enjoy what we have now. So many friends and family have helped get me to this point...it wouldn't have been possible without you all.

It's official...I'm finished this course of treatment, and moving on to something new. This time, an oral chemo. I'm so excited to grow hair again!!

I have to do a bunch of scans to finish off the trial, and as a baseline for the new treatment. And I'll get my bone drug infusion on Friday, and every six weeks thereafter. But then I should be fairly free to enjoy the rest of the summer.

The kids have had a great month at camp. And we had a great getaway to Blue Mountain. We're planning to visit a few cottages and relax for the month of August. Enjoy the rest of the summer!

I've been feeling really good lately...more positive, and thinking towards the future. I think the fact that I had an extra week between treatments has done me a lot of good. That said, I had chemo yesterday, which usually kicks me down a notch! I was a little disappointed to have such a beautiful weekend, and not be going up north somewhere. But I'm looking forward to a visit with my aunt this week. I'm missing my Dad a lot these days, but I always feel like I get a little piece of him when I see her.

The kids have had a great relaxing break the last two weeks, and are looking forward to camp starting Monday...so am I - I have so many projects I want to get done.

The summer is already seeming quiet...keep in touch!!