Round 5 was last Monday...I have to say that this round was not as bad as previous ones. I seem to be managing the side effects better now. I spent one day in bed, and I'm now getting my strength back. It's amazing what it does to my muscles-even brushing my teeth hurts my arm! Today I went for a short walk, and I still tire easily. But I hope to be back to tennis and yoga this week.

I've been experimenting with scarves lately...don't like wearing the wig all the time. This weekend I don't even have it-it's in the shop for service!!! Mark doesn't like the scarves at all, but I don't mind them. I like hats better, but I don't have the right one, especially now that it's getting warmer - yeah!!! I'll try to post a picture sometime.

I have been taking a course called "The Healing Journey". It's all about using the mind to feel better, handle the stress of a cancer diagnosis, take control and hopefully improve healing. I love the course, and meeting so many other people going through similar experiences. I have already been working with relaxation techniques, and find them very helpful. Now we're starting meditation. This is work for me! I believe that I have not handled stress well over the last few years, and that this probably contributed to my recurrence. So I think its going to be very important for me to find ways to slow down, relax, let things go more, and be in the moment. I have already noticed a difference in how I feel, and particularly how I deal with the kids day to day. The challenge will be to find the time to meditate daily, and to remain committed to it.

Mark and I are off to Florida on Friday. Can't wait to just relax, spend time together, and take in the heat!!!

I'm feeling kind of chatty tonight! There's one more thing I wanted to share with you...

Last month there was an article in Chatelaine Magazine that featured 3 women with breast cancer. Unfortunately, Leanne Coppen lost her fight against metastatic disease on April 27. A friend of mine told me about her blog...an incredible expression of her fight, pain and fears, and I had been following her for the last few months. Leanne said, "Every time I put something out there, it’s no longer residing in me alone, building tension and choking me with fear." And I can relate to this. My blog started as a way to keep family and friends informed of what was happening. But it has become a bit more therapy for me too. I find comfort knowing that so many of you are reading it, and supporting me. If you are interested, and have a chance to read her blog, there is a link on Chatelaine.com.

Good night my friends.

Quick update: There's no change on my MRI, meaning that everything is fine...huge relief!
Enjoy Mother's Day this weekend!

I had a follow up with my oncologist today, and it was great news. The tumours in my liver have shrunk by 50% from where they started. It's all perspective I guess...still a shitty situation, but at least things are improving! But I still left the hospital with something to worry about. I have a bit of pain in my spine, so they're sending me for an MRI tomorrow...they're fast when they want to be. I hope that doesn't mean I should worry more... I did just have an MRI about a month ago.
I've been feeling pretty good lately. I started outdoor tennis, which is so much fun. The spring weather has been perfect!
I'm celebrating my birthday this weekend, and Mark's birthday, and Mother's Day. I had an early birthday lunch with girlfriends today...thank you ladies! Then I go for my next treatment on Monday. When I'm feeling better after this round, Mark and I are going to Miami for a few days...a much needed adult getaway!

Round 4 was Friday, and Wendy came with me this time. Everything went well, and we all had a great weekend with her and Kayla. But Monday arrived with aches and fatique. I felt like crap, and had to drag my butt to the hospital for a CT, which I get every 6 weeks. I wasn't great company for Dana, who sat kindly in a crappy roll away chair while I lay on an equally crappy bed, drinking my contrast die for an hour and a half. I guess it was expecting too much to think this round would be as easy as the last. But I am starting to feel a bit better today. My biggest problem is weakness, and I even find it hard just to sit upright. I don't know if it's the cancer in my bones that makes it difficult, or just weakness. But I hate feeling like this! Anyway, I have a busy week, so this is my last day of lying around!

I've been feeling so good this week...almost myself really. I did a yoga class this week, and played tennis yesterday, which I love, but haven't felt strong enough to play for 2 months.
Wendy and Kayla arrived yesterday. It's so great to have them here. Wendy and I are just getting ready to go to treatment number 4. They're staying till Sunday. Mark is also leaving on Sunday for 10 days in Hong Kong and China. I've had so much help from everyone, and I have Thelma here now, so I'm sure we'll be fine. I'm hoping I feel as good as I did after my last treatment.
I saw my doctor Wednesday. She is very pleased with how I'm doing, and said she may even give me a few extra treatments...maybe 8 in total. Gotta go...will update as soon as I can.
XOX

A few people were worried because I hadn't posted in a while. Sorry for that! Last round of chemo went really well, and I've actually been quite busy. I'm still a bit bruised from the port, but it made the chemo infusion easier. I had a few days of not feeling great, but not exhausted like in the past. I didn't even need to nap. I made it to our second Passover Seder on Tuesday, and it was really nice to get out. Although I don't always feel like it, I know I need to get out to see friends, and get my mind off cancer for a while. Some days I feel like I'm drowning in it. But now I feel pretty good, and will try to get stronger before the next round. Probably 3 more to go. I'm getting neuropathy (numbing in fingers and toes), and I'm worried how bad that will get. My doctor seemed ok with it if I can still do up buttons...what if I can't?! My hair stubble is still falling out, but at the same time, new hair is also growing in. And I finally gave up and shaved my legs this weekend. Doesn't that suck! You'd think if I have to be bald, at least I'd get a break from shaving.
We spent a day at a friends cottage over the weekend. It was great to get away from the city and just relax. Lake Simcoe was covered with ice still, making very cool sounds as it melted and broke up.
We also hired a nanny. Thelma started last week. My house is really clean! I was definitely less stressed with her here, so I hope it works out.
Thanks again for all the comments.

We got great news today...the tumours in my liver are shrinking! After only two treatments, my oncologist was mostly hoping to see that they weren't growing anymore. Of course, I was hoping for more than that. I am so happy to hear something positive, and know that at least these awful treatments are working...Chemopolitans, as Jen calls them! I've read that distance prayer can actually have an impact, so thank you everyone...keep sending them my way!
Next round is Friday...

We got home from Boston yesterday. It was nice to see so many people, especially Mark's parents, and Wendy, Steve, Michael, Jessie, and Kayla. The Bat-Mitzvah was great...Jessie did really well, the party was fun, and the kids all looked so beautiful. Unfortunately I didn't take any pictures. I guess I wasn't feeling up to it, and I was wearing really stupid shoes! So if anyone got some pictures, please send me a few. The travel and all the festivities tired me out more than I thought they would.
Sunday morning Mark left for Chicago, and I checked out of the hotel to go to Wendy and Steve's. Later that afternoon, exhaustion and the fear that I was getting sick overcame me, and I had a little break-down...ok...it was a big one! But Bunny and Wendy took very good care of me. They fed me chicken soup and sent me to bed...thank you for everything you did, and especially for giving up your bedroom for me while we were there. Our last two days were relaxing, and the kids all got to play together. Wendy and I also got to spend some time together, and she took incredible care of me. She even booked a seat on our flight home, so she could help me on the trip, and then went home in the evening. I'm sure I would have managed, but I was so grateful to have her with me.
We've decided to hire a nanny to help out at home. Just looking after myself is more than I can handle most days. If you know of anyone, please let me know.
Thank you again for all the kind emails. I'm sorry I haven't replied to many of them, but your support means so much.
Love, L.

Well, I managed to do most of my packing today. I'm looking forward to a little getaway in Boston. I'm still a little tired and cranky, but overall, round 2 of chemo was a hundred times better than the first. Here's a picture of my new wig, and my friend Alissa. Although I've buzzed my hair off, I still have tons of stubble, and my head is itchy and driving me crazy. I wish I was bald already!!! But the wig is beautiful.
Thank you for all the posts. I love reading them.

Well, my second round of chemo was yesterday. Apart from being long, everything went well. This time they have sent a home nurse for three days to give me extra fluids...hoping I will be less dehydrated, and feel better. I'm just a little tired, but for the most part feel good, although I hate this IV in my hand. I'll be going to get a port inserted into my chest, to facilitate access to my veins, so I won't have to get poked anymore. I seems kind of gross, but most people highly recommend them. That's on the 22nd.
Thank you again to everyone for a fridge full of food, and especially Alison for coordinating it all. Also to everyone for driving the kids, taking them for playdates, and taking me to appointments. It is all such a huge help.
Thanks for all comments, and votes on the hair too! I'll update you on the wig look soon.
All my love,
Lynne